Thursday, March 7, 2013

Recovering from the Big "R" with Astraea Press Author: Liz Botts

Welcome Author Liz Botts 
today at the Book Boost!

**All month long at the Book Boost we're featuring my fellow Astraea Press authors. Come back each day for more and be entered to win a Digital Reader Prize Pack (see below for details)!**

Dealing with Rejection

All writers have been there. It’s the thing you dread the most. The big R.


There. I said it. We all know it hurts to be rejected.

A few months ago I received a rejection letter that hurt worst than most. Mainly, I think, because I had so many hopes pinned to this particular project. Even before I opened the letter, I knew basically what it would say. Yet, reading it still hurt. Like physically hurt.

So I thought today I would share my tips for getting over a rejection letter.

1. Cry. It’s okay. Disappointment needs to be addressed. Crying can be a very cathartic way to handle the flood of emotions that overwhelms you when you get a rejection letter. I opened mine after my kids went to bed, so that just my husband and I were up. That was also a good idea for me because I didn’t want to worry my kids. So, yes, crying helps.

2. Pray. When I’m upset, I try to lift up the hurt to God. I know this doesn’t apply or work for everyone, but this is a central pillar of my life. Praying helps me to calm down and center myself.

3. Ask other people to share something good that happened in their day. Thinking about someone other than yourself is a great way to lessen the sting of the rejection, and begin to move on. I posted asked people online to share good things from their day, and I got awesome responses. Most of the stuff people shared was the small stuff that ends up making a day great, but normally isn’t what we divulge. Possibly because we overlook the small stuff in favor of bigger happenings. Either way, I loved sharing in other people’s happiness. It really did put me in a better mood.

4. Indulge yourself. Eat a bowl of ice cream. Buy yourself a lottery ticket. Take a bubble bath. Whatever makes you feel better. I gave myself the night off from writing, and picked up one of the books I was currently reading. Letting myself get lost in another world was good medicine for my bruised ego.

5. Reread the rejection letter. I know this seems contrary to the idea of getting over the rejection, but after you’ve given yourself a little time to adjust to the rejection, to grieve for your dashed hopes, facing the reality of the rejection letter is just what you need to move on. My advice would be to give it at least a full twenty-four hours before you take another gander at it. For me when I reread the letter I actually found that it was full of praise that I had missed on the first read. That made me feel great, and it made moving on to the next step easier.

Every rejection is different for every person. The above list doesn’t work for me all the time, but I feel it’s safe to say that these are my go to remedies for dealing with a rejection letter. Tell me, how do you deal with rejection?

A Note from the Book Boost:  Great tips, Liz!  How do I recover from the big "R"?  Well, I've cried...I've yelled at the universe...I've over indulged in online shopping...and then I've immediately resubmitted that project elsewhere.  Move on...move up...move over!  Please tell us more about your latest book.


When sixteen year old Hannah Brewster lands the lead in the school musical she hopes it will be the perfect chance to get the attention of her family and her long time crush, Kyle. The only problem is that school super star, Josh Larson, has been cast opposite her, and he seems to like her as more than just a cast mate.

As Hannah and Josh grow closer, things between Hannah and Kyle get complicated. When Hannah realizes that Kyle is not who she thought he was, she also realizes that she just might like Josh as more than just a friend.

Will Hannah and Josh be able to overcome their obstacles and admit their feelings before the musical ends?


“You really want to know?” I replied.

“I do,” Josh said, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair, that stupid smirk still
on his face.

“I put down all the girls you talk about because all the girls you talk about are…skanks. And I don’t like you. I could never like you because you are a conceited jerk. And you know what else? I thought that was because you were Mr. Big Man on Campus football star legend of the school, but it’s not. That’s just who you are.”

I stood up so fast my chair slammed against the wall. People from several surrounding tables glanced our way, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get out of the cafeteria as fast as possible. As I fled I was acutely aware of all the eyes following me. Somehow I managed to make it to the choir room before collapsing into a chair.

A horrible realization hit me as buckets of ice cold air from the newly installed air conditioning system dumped on me from the vents in the ceiling. I liked Josh. But that was impossible because I clearly disliked Josh. You can’t have it both ways, I argued with myself. And yet, here I was nursing both the biggest grudge and the biggest crush of all time.

Maybe even bigger than the crush I had on Kyle. And how did that fit into all of this? I still had monster feelings for Kyle. Who wouldn’t? We were getting so much closer now that musical rehearsals had started. I mean, why would he offer me private coaching sessions if he didn’t feel something for me? I had a little suspicion though that Kyle might not be the only one with feelings for me. Why would Josh want me to be jealous of all his skanky little conquests unless he liked me, too? And did I want Josh to like me back? Just because he might possibly, potentially like me back, that didn’t mean that anything was going to happen between us. I mean, I certainly wasn’t going to make the first move, and if that little display back in the lunch room had been Josh’s idea of a first move, the two of us would obviously get nowhere fast.

And did I even want Josh to like me? Hadn’t I spent the past three years trying to get Kyle to fall madly, deeply in love with me? Or at least wishing that he would? How on earth could I focus on accomplishing a goal like that when another boy was taking up my time? Seriously, what was wrong with me? I felt like I was turning into Claudia. And speaking of Claudia, what was going on with her and Kyle anyway? One day they seemed to be in the throes of a heated affair, and the next day they could barely stand the sight of each other.

Want More Liz?

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Everyone who leaves a question or comment for any of our authors this month will be entered to win a Digital Reader Prize pack from the Book Boost!  Pack includes a copy of my Astraea Press Young Adult mystery Falsify and your choice of books from author Liz Botts PLUS much more!  One entry for every comment.  Visit often.


jeff7salter said...

Well, there's something that hurts every bit as much as rejection ... if not more --- when you don't hear back at all.
I was invited by an agent (whom I had contacted) to send a FULL of Ms. # 4. I did. She and I corresponded a few times over the next six mos. Then her web site announced that she'd been busy, been traveling, been relocating, etc. A notice indicated if she'd already had our submission for 6 mos or more and wanted to send a revised version -- on the correct notion that I (and others, presumably) was continuing to work on Ms # 4 -- that we could send it in and she'd read that insted of the old version. Once she got to it. She made a big deal about reading things in the order she received them.
Well, I was still very enthusiastic throughout that entire first year. But then she stopped answering email. The office email just bounced back a message that she wasn't taking new submissions.
Short version, after 3+ years, i haven't heard a word about my sub.
I would much rather she had sent it back and said SOMETHING. I can understand several variations of "I'm not interested" ... but leaving me hanging is horrible.

SherryGLoag said...

Great advice, Liz. And I so agree about going back after a distance of time and re-reading the rejection. Like yours, there's often a jernal of positivity in there which helps to lessen the sting of the rejection.