The Heart of Snarkness with Guest Blogger: Sidney Ayers

Welcome to Day #7 of
the Dark Days of Demons Blog Event
here at the Book Boost!

Meet paranormal romance author Sidney Ayers today!


When people think of demons, they instantly think of darkness and evil. I was raised in a Catholic household, so the whole the devil and demons live in hell and are evil belief ran pretty strong. When I was little, I made the mistake of watching The Exorsist.

Hey, for a little kid, seeing Linda Blair projectile vomit and spin her head around was pretty darned frightening. It was so frightening that for the longest time, I always said a prayer to the High Heavens Above to watch over me at night. After all, I didn’t want to end up praying to the wrong entity--lest I end up like Linda Blair’s character. I think if I watched that movie now, though, I’d be laughing my a$ off more than cowering behind a pillow. Funny how our perspective changes as we get older, huh?

To be honest, I don’t particularly care for horror flicks. And it probably stems from my Exorsist experiences. Instead, I engross myself in movies like Airplane!, The Naked Gun, Spaceballs, and Robin Hood: Men in Tights. (Tight Tights!) People like Mel Brooks and Leslie Nielson have always been my idols. I grew up watching SNL, Mad TV, and In Living Color. I like to laugh. I then discovered that horror can be funny (especially if you watch those old B movies with their less than stellar special effects).

It was here that I discovered Bruce Campbell and the character of Ash. I think The Evil Dead was supposed to be scary, but instead it came out as completely campy and cheesy (in a good way, I assure you).

My June 2011 release, Demons Prefer Blondes, is a campy and snarky adventure that I like to describe as Army of Darkness meets Beauty Shop. It centers around Lucy Gregory, a cosmetologist who inadvertently opens a demonic chest which unleashes her own half-succubus nature. In comes Rafe Deleon, a Paladin demon who needs to retrieve the chest. However, with Lucy’s new powers, he’s in for more than he bargained for.

And before you worry, Paladins are good demons. They’ve been blessed by angels to protect earth and Limbo. Cool, huh? Since I’m in love with such off-the-wall humor, it was only natural that there are a few over-the-top and off-the-wall situations throughout the book. To be honest, I don’t think there was any other way to write this book.

And the snarktastic roller coaster doesn’t stop there. In December, the next book in the Demons Unleashed series, Demons Like It Hot comes out. It involves a sassy caterer and a reformed demon mercenary sent to protect her. Demons in the kitchen? Don’t they get hot enough?

We all need a little laughter in our lives, after all.


Blurb:

A BAD DAY FOR A DEMON...

Rafe Deleon is a senior demon and he resents like hell his assignment to Earth to retreive the Chest of the Damned before it ends up in the wrong hands. But then he meets beautiful, intriguing succubus, Lucy Gregory, and she’s just unleashed a whole load of trouble...

REALLY SUCKS FOR A SUCCUBUS...

Lucy’s chic suburban salon has suddenly become the Underworld’s center of mass chaos and destruction. The only good in a day going rapidly down the tubes is the arrival of a gorgeous demon who’s adamant he can help her...

But Lucy has quite a few deeply unpleasant--not to mention deadly and hateful--surprises ahead of her. Surely there’s never been a worse time to tryout a new boyfriend...


Excerpt:

With a wide grin, Hot-Bod rose from his chair and approached the desk. “I hope you don’t mind my interfering?”

Hell no, she didn’t mind him interfering. He could interfere anytime he wanted. “Not at all. Like you said, you’re a very good negotiator.” Lucy smiled and her cheeks warmed. “Although, I admit, ‘very good’ is an understatement, Mr.…”

“Deleon. Rafael Deleon.” The man smiled, deep dimples forming in each of his cheeks. His silver eyes swirled like two giant pools. Beautiful in a completely masculine way. “You can call me Rafe.”

So, Rafe, do you want a job? She wouldn’t mind having some smooth negotiating for those hairy situations. “Thank you, Rafe. I don’t know how to repay you. I haven’t seen Mrs. Carlson that happy in a long time.” More like forever. “Right, Gerardo?”

She turned to Gerardo. If this were a cartoon, he would’ve had those animated hearts in his eyes. He batted his eyelashes and a giddy smile curved his lips. She’d never seen Gerardo this excited over a little eye candy. Maybe she was lucky Frankie had the day off. Then she’d have two enraptured gay men on her hands.

“Gerardo!”

He jumped about a foot in the air. “What?” He glanced around, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Oh, my bad. Can I help you?”

Lucy shook her head. “Sorry, Gerardo’s a tad occupied with his new toy. So how can we help you?”

Rafe crossed his gloriously ripped arms. Fabio had nothing on this guy. His muscles bulged in places she didn’t know muscles existed. Yummy with a capital Y. “I came to search for something.”

“Something?” Lucy snickered. “What sort of something? We’ve got a lot of things here. How about a pedicure?” If his feet looked as good as the rest of his body, he didn’t need one. “Or some shampoo and conditioner. You seem like a guy who knows how to take care of his hair.”

“That’s for sure,” Gerardo chimed in. “I’ve never seen hair so shiny. Not a split end in sight. What brand do you use?”

Rafe arched a brow. “Brand?”

“Conditioner.” Gerardo leapt over the desk and reached for a strand of Rafe’s hair.

In a blink of an eye, Rafe spun around, grabbed Gerardo’s arm and pinned him against the desk. Elbow at Ger’s neck, he held firm, his gaze stony. “I did not give you permission to touch me.”

Great! Her fantasy come to life was a homophobe. Not that she had a chance in hell with such a fine specimen of man. Even if his gaze looked like he wanted to eat her up. And he was manhandling her employees anyway. “Let him go! He didn’t mean any harm. He just wanted to check your hair out.”

Loosening his hold on Gerardo’s feathers, Rafe lowered his elbow. Several crumpled feathers floated to the ground. Poor Gerardo. That was his favorite shirt.

He raked his fingers through his hair and backed away. “Next time, ask.”

Rubbing his neck, Gerardo nodded. He slumped against the desk. “¡Ay Dios mio,” he murmured as he crumbled to a little ball on the floor.

“I’m not sure how things are done where you’re from, mister, but here we frown at violence.”

Lucy raised her chin. Call it her defiant nature.

Rafe crossed his arm. With stony intensity, he returned her defiant gaze with one of his own. Despite the furor, crackling heat raced through her body. What was happening? “Yet people seem to thrive upon it. Since the dawn of time. TV, cinema, fisticuffs.”

“Fisticuffs? What in the hell is that?”

Rafe growled a sound that, despite its gruffness, caused her gut to flutter. “I suppose it’s called boxing, now.”

“I hate boxing.” Lucy stood proud. “As well as professional wrestling and that ultimate fighting shit. I hate watching people getting the crap kicked out of them.” Then again, the sight of blood—period—made her cringe. She crossed her arms. And this guy had her rambling like a buffoon, too. Now she needed to put her foot down. “So tell me what you want so you can get the hell out of my shop.”

Rafe groaned in obvious frustration. “It’s not here anymore. I would have felt it.” His gaze still burned. “Don’t you know what you are?”

Any attraction she felt for this man faded as anger took over. “Sure I do. I’m the owner of this establishment, and you’ve overstayed your welcome.”

“You need protection.” He stalked toward Lucy, his gaze steady, yet still wounded. “But I cannot stay where I am not welcome. If you need me, call my name.”

What a god complex! “I can take care of myself, Mr. Deleon. I’ve been doing it for almost thirty years.”

“Very well, Miss Gregory. Have a good day.” His silver eyes sparked as he bowed. In one swift turn, he spun around and stalked toward the exit. With a loud whoosh, as if a hurricane force wind swept through the building, the door swung open. Rafe, unaffected by the gust, stepped out onto the sidewalk and proceeded down the street.

As if on similar wavelengths, Lucy and Gerardo sprinted toward the window. They trained their gazes toward the direction in which Rafe had walked off. Not a person stood in sight.

Want More Sidney?

Visit her website here: http://www.sidneyayers.com/

Follow her blog here: http://www.sidneyayers.com/blog/

Pick up a copy of her book today! Click here.

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